In this insightful case study, Beki Jacques explains the reasons for stepping over the sidelines and taking on role of a coach...

As the 2023/24 season neared an end, me and three other parents were told our boys would not be staying with their U7s team as they progressed to U8s. We were left with three options

1) The boys try out for another team
2) A parent or two, set up a third U8s team in the club
3) The boys step back from playing league football and continue to attend the Saturday morning development school

My coaching journey so far: 

When I told my friends and family that I was going to be Mylo’s team coach, the initial response was that of disbelief. Everyone was confused where I would find the time as a busy working mum to four young kids to coach football. But I was hugely encouraged by how positive the comments were after their initial shock. I have been praised by my female peers for representing women in football, for stepping up so my child can continue to play football, and other Mums have commented what a special opportunity I have to spend time and connect with my son through his love of football.  

It has been almost five months since I took on the role of coach as a parent. I have spent a good chunk of these last few months ‘terrified’ and have hidden behind humour to mask how anxious I felt. Once the initial excitement of life’s newest challenge had passed, the reality hit me hard. I felt hugely out of my comfort zone, and experienced intense moments of imposter syndrome. I would imagine the parents and the coaches from our U7s team laughing at the thought of ‘me’ coaching. I dreaded walking into training with the other soon to be U8s teams as my imposter syndrome felt like it could be seen by everyone. I tried to be invisible and watched whilst the established coaches ran the training sessions. I prayed no one would expect anything from me in terms of delivering a practice session as I had nothing to offer.  

Having never had the opportunity to play football growing up, I felt deficient in skill and knowledge, with no previous experience to draw on. I felt acutely aware that playing football and coaching is still very much a ‘man’s world’ even though women are far more represented now than when I was a kid some 30 years ago. The reality is when I look around as a female coach, I am in a minority.  

I feel in a different place to where I was four months ago, and I have to thank two main people for this. I met Helen Ogle through my club’s chair who put me in touch with Surrey FA’s female workforce. From the start she validated my imposter syndrome, reassured me I was not alone to feel this way, pointed out all my valuable and transferable skills, and offered me the opportunity to join the Surrey FA Female Coach Mentor Programme. She also encouraged me to join the Surrey female coaches WhatsApp chat. Once I applied for the mentoring programme, Helen put me in touch with Kevin Finnerty, FA Coach Mentor.  

My first call with Kevin ignited feelings of excitement again as opposed to feelings or dread and embarrassment that my imposter syndrome created. We talked at length about my experience and skill working with children and young people as a mental health clinician in the NHS. I explained I felt inspired by the amount of resources available through The FA's England Football Learning site that focused on the promotion of children’s emotional and social development. Kevin bolstered my confidence and told me this is the fundamental part of coaching kids football, and that I have this skill and knowledge already. He reassured me all the technical/skill part will come in time. 

I felt so much happier after this first call, and I was straight on the phone to my co-coach Steve with the tasks Kevin had set us. Kevin has visited me during training sessions, and always asks what I want to focus on. I feel I can ask him any question no matter how silly it might sound. He has shown me some practices that are helping me to build a core set of practices for training. Kevin will be joining me for more training sessions and delivering them alongside me as this is how I learn the best. I went from feeling hugely stressed planning a training session to now having a baseline to more easily work from. 

Another aspect of the mentoring programme I am impressed with is how available and responsive my mentor Kevin is. I feel he has taken the time to get to know me as an individual and he recognises my strengths. Week by week my confidence is growing even though I am still at the beginning of my coaching journey. I have attended various CPD coaching events and had the chance to network with other coaches from across the county. I mentioned earlier feeling acutely aware of my male peer coaches at the start. I don’t feel like this anymore, in fact, it doesn’t even come into my mind. I have been lucky to experience nothing but respect, support, and a sense of parity amongst the male coaches I have spoken with or trained alongside.  

The investment the mentoring programme has made in me, has inspired me to equally invest in my players and the team. I have created a variety of resources to support my players learning and development, including an individualised plan with goal setting, training and match day zones of regulation check in board, and a weekly weekend video for pre-match preparation, player inspiration and motivation, and match line up. I am also beginning to draw on my therapeutic skills as a practitioner to help parents support their children if they are experiencing Matchday anxieties. 

I would not have gained the confidence to achieve all this in a short time without the support of Kevin and Helen. I highly recommend the coach mentoring programme for anyone who is considering stepping over the side line to coach football. If fear and uncertainty is the main block stopping you from making that first step, the mentor programme will buffer a lot of those uncomfortable feelings. A coach mentor will be alongside you all the way, and it’s an exciting journey together! 

For more information and to start your coaching journey click here